


Hard Times before the Good Times

by cilly_feline



Series: Life: A Journey [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Giving Birth, Human AU, M/M, Mpreg, daddy Magnus, malec babies, papa Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 20:18:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15589935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cilly_feline/pseuds/cilly_feline
Summary: Alec is pregnant with Magnus' baby and has gone into labour. In order for anything to get better, it has to get worse...





	1. Chapter 1

"Magnus, I can't do it," Alec groaned between heavy pants.  
"Yes, you can Alec. You've done so well so far, just a little bit more and we'll get to hold our baby in our arms, okay?"  
Alec looked into Magnus' eyes full of trust and joy and love and Alec steeled himself, ready for another contraction.

His stomach tightened, but this time it came in stuttered ripples and it hurt more than all the rest before. Alec tried to breathe through it but struggled as his breathing became more shallow and erratic from the pain.  
"Mag.. Magnus," Alec breathed out "It hurts too much. I, I c-can't."  
"Yes you can baby, its head is crowning and is almost out ok. That's the first and biggest hurdle and you’re nearly over it. Just breathe with me." Magnus squeezed his hand around Alec's sweaty, loose grip and demonstrated the long, deep breaths they had been practicing. After a while Alec tried to copy him; his breathing became a little slower and more regular but was still too shallow.

Another contraction came and Alec pushed through it a little easier, face and body tense as he let out a cry of pain.  
All of a sudden, there was a commotion by the foot of the bed as the nurses and Cat, Alec's attending midwife, started moving about hurriedly and talking in fast hushed voices.

Alec sensed the tension and began to panic again. "What, what is it?" he asked, eyes tired but darting between the faces of the nurses and Cat before lingering on Magnus' worried face "Is something wrong with the baby?"

"Alec," Catarina began in a deceptively calm voice "I need you to stay calm ok and breathe. The baby isn't getting enough oxygen. The baby has a bigger head than we thought and your birth canal is a little too small so it is pinching the umbilical cord which seems to be running up the side of the baby, pressed between it and you. The good thing is that we are sure the cord is not wrapped around the neck."

Alec and Magnus stared at Cat with worried faces as they took in the seriousness of the situation. From beside Magnus, he could hear Alec's breathing turn ragged and fast again.  
Magnus turned to him and found Alec had started to panic. He was shaking his head frantically and tears were streaming down his face. "She's dying, she's dying, no, I can't do it" Alec muttered over and over in between choked sobs.

"Magnus, calm him down," Cat ordered from between Alec's legs "Another contraction is coming and he needs to breathe through it. We need to deliver the baby's head in the next two contractions or its life will really be in danger"

Sure enough, another strong contraction gripped Alec's stomach and he screamed, caught off guard by the intensity. The scream was cut off by a sharp inhalation as Alec continued to fight for breath only to be choked by his panic-induced sobs and hiccups.

Magnus watched on terrified for his husband and his child. How had it got this bad, he wondered as he stared, frozen in shock. The whole pregnancy had been fairly smooth although a little bumpy towards the end but that was to be expected. The baby was a week early but healthy and even a little oversized if the current situation was any indication. It shouldn't be this bad.  
Magnus was jerked out of his stupor by Alec's hand suddenly going limp from the death grip he had had since he found out the baby wasn't breathing right. Magnus' eyes snapped into focus as he realised Alec was choking violently and gasping for air in his panicked state.

"Alec? Alec baby, you need to calm down and breathe properly. Please calm down Sayang. For me, for the baby." Magnus tried to hide the fear in his voice but Alec heard it, ocean blue eyes moving frantically to look into his lover's golden-green eyes. Alec managed a little nod and tightened his grip in Magnus' hand.

Magnus leaned closer to Alec to press their foreheads together. This type of contact always managed to calm Alec as he caught hints of Magnus' familiar scent. Magnus, again, began to breathe slowly and deeply trying to get Alec to copy him. Alec did try and he stopped choking, instead breathing deeply but still too fast. Magnus brought their joined hands up to his chest and pressed Alec's palm right over his heart where it beat, a little fast but still steady. This calmed Alec instantly and his breathing slowed to match the pulse.

"Okay good Alec," Cat soothed "Keep going like that though this next contraction. It will be just as intense as the previous one. That's just your body helping to get the baby out faster so it can breathe better, okay."

Alec nodded against Magnus' forehead ready and determined.  
"You can do this baby." Magnus whispered, placing a soft kiss to Alec's dry lips.  
"I love you Magnus," Alec replied "And I am not going to do this again. Don't touch me like that again." He added in mock anger.  
They laughed a little, reducing some of the tension in the room.  
"Baby, it's you who can't keep your hands off of me."  
"Ok yeah, that's true," Alec started but returned back to seriousness "But Magnus, really, I can't do this again. At least not anytime soon. It hurts so much, worse than anything I've ever been through."  
"Okay Alec, we can talk about this more later" Magnus smiled and kissed his love's cheek.

"Alec get ready, another contraction is coming," Cat warned "And with this one we need to get the baby's head out, you're really close so I need you to give one big push ok and then you can rest a little."

Alec nodded again and closed his eyes as he felt the familiar shooting pains up his side, a sign of a strong contraction coming.  
Magnus and Alec separated their heads but Alec kept his hand firmly pressed on Magnus' chest to ground him.

As the contraction came in full force, Alec grit his teeth and pushed with everything he had. Magnus whispered comforting and encouraging words to him as he watched Alec strain and heard to his pained cries.

Alec gasped suddenly, holding his breath and flopped back on the bed. Magnus thought for a second Alec was going to panic or pass out but he took in a deep breath and returned to follow Magnus' heart rate.

"The head's out," Alec whispered turning his head to face Magnus just as Cat announced the same thing loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.  
"Alec, I'm going to pull a little on the umbilical cord to give it more room for the baby to get enough oxygen. It may feel a little strange and uncomfortable."  
Alec rolled his eyes (even in pain his eye-rolling game remained strong) "This whole situation is uncomfortable," he joked in a whisper. Magnus and Cat chuckled in response.

While Cat did what she had to do, Alec rested a bit and his breathing got calmer with the help of Magnus' reassuring words and soft kisses.

"Ok Alec, the baby can breathe better now so we can carry on. We need to get over the second and final hurdle: delivering the shoulders. This is a little harder but I know you can do it and this time I can help you. Once the shoulders are out, the baby will just slide on out," Cat informed him.

Alec sat up a little more after he kissed Magnus. The contraction came and went and Alec pushed with what looked like relative ease but Magnus could see the tears squeezing passed Alec's scrunched up eyes and his unoccupied hand grabbing at the bed sheets. Alec was whimpering which was worse than when he was screaming as it meant he was in true and unbearable pain.

Magnus continued to do the only thing he could and comforted Alec through words and rubbed his hand up and down the arm still pressed to his chest.

The room suddenly filled with a shrill cry as Alec relaxed and slumped back onto the birthing bed. Magnus looked down at Caterina and saw the source of the high pitched screeching.

"Alec you did it! The baby is out, can you hear it?" Magnus exclaimed overjoyed as he turned back to his exhausted husband. Alec could only nod minutely and gave a small smile.

"Magnus, would you like to do the honours and cut the umbilical cord?" Cat asked.  
Magnus nodded and with tears in his eyes he cut between the clamps before the baby was taken away to be quickly cleaned and taken through the initial checks.  
Magnus moved back up to his husband and brushed his sweaty hair away from his face. Alec pressed into the contact and inclined his head slightly for Magnus to kiss him.  
"Hey Sayang," Magnus whispered against Alec's mouth "We've got ourselves a little baby boy, not a girl like you were so sure of." Magnus could feel Alec's smile widen on his lips as they kissed again.

"Alec you can hold your baby now," Cat said quietly as she placed the still naked but clean baby on Alec's bare chest between his now swollen breasts. The second the baby made contact with Alec, he stopped crying and Alec couldn't help but burst into tears.  
"He's so beautiful Magnus" Alec whispered "He looks like you."  
Magnus joined him in his tears "He’ll have your dark, wild hair Sayang, I can already see the beginnings of it." He replied softly and stroked his hand along his baby's wispy black hair to rest on his back.

Magnus looked up at Alec only to be taken aback by the lack of colour in his cheeks and the slight blue tinge to his lips that hadn't been there moments before.  
"Alec, baby, are you ok?" Magnus asked just as Alec's smile faltered and he winced in pain. His heart rate monitor started beeping and the nurse called out that his blood pressure was low and his heart rate was slowing. Catarina burst into action, moving back to between Alec's bent legs whilst Magnus scooped up the now crying baby into his arms close to his chest where Alec's hand still lay with a finger hooked in the gap between the buttons of his shirt.

"He's haemorrhaging from where the placenta has detached and he is unable to deliver it so we can slow the bleeding naturally. His perineum is also excessively torn. He needs to go in for emergency surgery."

Magnus stared at his lover's face, still pale and his lips rapidly turning blue. Alec's eyes were whirling unseeing around the room and his hand fell from Magnus' chest with a thump, landing on the bed. Magnus was terrified. He couldn't lose his Husband. He can't take care of their baby alone.

"Magnus? Magnus!" Catarina called "We need to take the baby and you need to leave the room so we can operate."  
Magnus ripped his gaze away from his dying husband and gripped his baby tighter.  
"Magnus, we will take good care of Alec, and of the baby. You're my best friend and I will do everything in my power to ensure they both come back to you safe and alive and healthy, I promise." Cat said with a fierce look of determination in her eyes.

Magnus nodded and released his grip on his baby boy to Cat and he was escorted out by a nurse who had been by Alec's side through most of his pregnancy. He smiled at Magnus and gave him a reassuring squeeze on his upper arm.


	2. Chapter 2

Magnus waited for what felt like hours outside his husband's hospital room. He paced along the corridor in fear for his husband's life. Alec had been through too much pain and misery in his life - as had Magnus - only for it to end at the start of what would be the happiest time of their lives.

Forty minutes after Magnus had been escorted out, the room door opened and Catarina walked out with her surgical mask still on and blood on her scrubs and sleeves.  
Magnus hurried over to her and waited with baited breath.  
She removed her mask to reveal a little smile and Magnus sighed in relief.

"He's okay and stable now. We've stopped the bleeding and we're giving him some fluids and a blood transfusion to rehydrate him and increase his blood pressure. The baby is also fine and healthy. You can go in and be with your family Magnus, congratulations my friend."

Magnus flung his arms around his best friend, uncaring of the blood ruining his clothes. "Thank you Cat. Thank you for saving the life of the only person I live for."

"And what am I? Chopped liver?" Cat replied jokingly "You're welcome Magnus, I love you."  
"I love you too Cat." Magnus answered as he disentangled himself from her and entered the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Alec was lying almost flat on the bed with his legs slightly raised and bent with the help of stirrups and his head was elevated a little with pillows. Tubes were running from hanging bags filled with crimson and clear fluid to a cannula in his left hand and inner elbow. Alec hates those Magnus thought to himself. On the left of Alec, there was a plastic hospital cradle slightly higher than the height of the bed and Magnus could see his little baby wrapped in the purple cloth Cat had gifted them at Alec's baby shower a few weeks ago.

Tears were brought to Magnus' eyes at the sight of the beautiful family that he had thought he would never have. He walked closer to sit in the chair on Alec's right side and saw that Alec was awake and watching him.

"Hi baby," Alec whispered hoarsely and gave a weak smile.  
"Hi Sayang," Magnus replied with his own smile and the tears escaping his eyes, falling down his cheeks. "I thought I was going to lose you Alexander."  
"Baby don't cry, I'm sorry I scared you but I'm fine now. I'm not going anywhere without you two. Come closer."  
Magnus moved closer to kiss Alec deeply on his slowly reddening lips.  
"I love you Alexander."  
"I love you too baby."

They stayed with their faces close together listening to the sound of each other’s breathing until the baby started gurgling in his cot. Magnus and Alec laughed.  
"You know," Alec started "Cat said he weighed a whopping 9 pounds 8 ounces and most of the weight was gained towards the end of the pregnancy which is probably why I was having such a bad time the last few weeks and why he came a little early."  
"Well then, I guess he's going to grow up to be big and strong just like his Papa." Magnus replied looking lovingly into said Papa's eyes.  
"Maybe so Daddy." Alec replied just as lovingly. "So what are we naming him?"  
"I was thinking Maxwell Lightwood-Bane." Magnus whispered. Alec looked a little stunned and a little sad at the mention of his dead little brother's name. Tears sprung to his eyes as he nodded.  
"I like that but can we add one thing?"  
Magnus looked at him quizzically.  
"William Max." He said simply. Magnus' eyes brightened. William had been a close friend to Magnus and had also died many years before Magnus had met Alec. Will had been the only person who had kept Magnus alive in his orphanage and had died protecting Magnus as they tried to escape.  
Magnus nodded and kissed Alec again. "William Max Lightwood-Bane it is."  
Their baby gurgled again in his cot beside them.  
"It looks like he likes it, baby."  
"Indeed Sayang."

************

For the next week, Alec and the baby were required to remain in the hospital for close monitoring. Magnus stayed with them during the nights and for most of the day, only going back to their house to prepare for their return home.  
Magnus and Alec also learnt how to feed and change the baby with the help of the nurses before they were discharged from the hospital after signing William Max's birth certificate.

The rest of their family - mainly Alec's siblings and Magnus' closest friends - had been made aware of the difficult birth and had respected the couple’s decision to not have any visitors for the next two days to allow them to rest and adjust to life at home. That didn't stop the inpouring of texts and voicemails on their phones when they arrived home. They listened to all the well wishes and congratulations as they went about calming a restless William the first night and preparing for bed.

After William had been breastfed by Alec, Magnus had taken him and burped him before settling him in his cot at the foot of their bed. The cot had originally been in William's beautiful purple and gold nursery but after the terror of his birth, Magnus had felt more comfortable with both his loves together with him in the same room.

As they stood by the cot watching William sleep, Magnus looked over to Alec where he had his hand pressed against his lower stomach which was still protruding slightly from the stretched skin and baby fat.  
"Alexander, Sayang, are you okay?" Magnus asked, scared his love was in pain again. He guided Alec over to the bed and lay him down on his side.  
"I'm okay Magnus. It just aches a little when I stand."  
Magnus sighed and lay down next to Alec facing him. "Baby, I was so scared when I saw your face turn pale and your lips blue. It looked like how Will looked when he was dying. I can't see you like that again, I just can't. I hate you being in pain."  
"Oh Magnus don't think about that you'll only make yourself upset. I'm fine and I'm not going anywhere," Alec replied, wiping away a stray tear from Magnus' cheek with his thumb.  
"Alec about what you said then, about not doing this again, I'm ok with it and I agree. You don't have to get pregnant again. Not if it’s going to be like this."

"The pain was excruciating baby, I don't think I'll be able to bear it anytime soon but maybe after a few years... or a lot of years we can try again? I know you want more babies and so do I."

"I do Sayang but I don't want to risk losing you in the process and the older you get the more risky it becomes. We can always adopt and we can go back on our contraceptive medication - after William stops breastfeeding for you - and we can just be extra careful."

Alec looked at Magnus carefully. He could see fear still in his eyes and he hated it. Magnus had almost witnessed, again, the death of someone he loved greatly and so soon after hearing his newborn son could die. Alec wanted to believe he could cope with another pregnancy years down the line as he had enjoyed the experience of the 7 months of pregnancy he had had but the labour had been unexpected, too long (30 hours) and too painful. If he got pregnant again, his worry for how the labour and birth would be would overshadow the excitement of being pregnant.

Alec smiled gratefully at Magnus and kissed him passionately.  
"Okay baby, thank you. I love you."  
"I love you too, Sayang."


	3. Epilogue

12 years later

 

Magnus watched smiling from his seat on the back garden patio as his 8 year old girl ran to his 12 year old son William.

"Freya Louise," Magnus called out "Darling please do be careful. You're still recovering from your twisted ankle."  
Freya was a handful and was quite energetic and adventurous which is quite surprising considering her condition. Magnus and Alec had adopted her when she was 4 and had found out that she had weak bones and a weak immune system due to malnourishment by her neglecting birth parents. In the beginning months, Freya had been quiet and only really spoke to William who had been 8 at the time. Freya always stayed close to Magnus and Alec when others came near and was afraid of going outside. However, that first winter together, Alec had shown her the snow covered grass and Freya was instantly mesmerised. She had asked Alec if she could touch it. Alec had wrapped her up in her favourite blue scarf and coat with matching gloves and taken her to the back door. She had reached her hand out to feel the snow on the ground be for stepping out in her warm snow boots. She had bounced around in the snow, enjoying the sound of the crunch before she turned around and said "Can you take my gloves off Papa, I want to feel the white fluff." 

At that Alec had burst into tears. It was the most she had ever said to him and the first time she had called him Papa. Alec quickly wiped his face and removed her gloves, watching as she plunged her hand deep into the snow and squealed in delight.  
"Papa it's cold."  
"Yes Freya, it is. That's why we wear gloves, so your hands stay toasty warm. How about we put them back on and we go and show Daddy and William?"  
Freya had nodded her head and raised her hands toward Alec to put on the gloves before gathering a handful of snow into a bowl Alec had brought for her. She ran back into the house carefully and straight into Magnus' legs who was sitting on the couch reading a book to William.  
"Daddy, William look. It's cold white fluff from the sky."  
Magnus stared at her eyes filling with tears and mouth agape in surprise. William replied to her saying it was called snow as Alec took a seat beside Magnus a squeezed his hand in excitement. Freya was starting to feel like part of the family and Magnus and Alec couldn't be happier as they loved her just as much as they loved William.

After that, Freya loved being outdoors and she became less shy and quiet. She was constantly talking and running about which meant she got injured quite a lot as although her bones had improved in strength, they were still a bit fragile.

Alec joined Magnus on the patio holding a little boy on his hip, the newest addition to their family. Isadore Raphael was 3 and had been adopted when he was 11 months old from the orphanage Magnus was from. The quality of care there had greatly improved as Magnus had bought it off the previous owners and had completely renovated it to make living there better than ever. Alec had seen Isadore the first time he had visited Magnus at the orphanage during the restoration.  
Magnus had been trying to get him to stop crying after finding him abandoned at the orphanage door step. Magnus had given him to Alec in the hopes that he would be able to calm him and within minutes Alec had managed to get him to fall asleep.  
"I think he likes you Alec. It’s just like how you're always able to calm William and Freya."  
"I like him too Magnus."  
It was then that Alec had fallen in love with Isadore and it hadn't taken much for Magnus to also fall in love and begin the paperwork for his adoption.

There had been no issue with Isadore apart from poor blood circulation which caused his pale skin to tinge a little blue. This worried Magnus a little as he looked a lot like Alec when he gave birth to William but after careful treatment and ensuring he was kept warm, Isadore got back to full health and remained with a similar healthy skin tone to Alec's; pale with full red cheeks. It was shocking how similar the two looked and it made Alec crave another baby of his own.

 

On the patio, Alec put Isadore down to allow him to toddle to his brother and sister where they had collapsed on the grass and were giggling with each other.  
Alec leaned against Magnus' side and turned his face to kiss him. 

"Hey Magnus, how do you feel about a fourth kid?"  
Magnus turned to look at Alec with shock on his face. "What do you mean? Did you find another abandoned child?"  
"No. Magnus," Alec begun, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes full of hope and love "Ever since we got Isadore, I've just been feeling a little empty and wistful like I'm missing out on something."  
Alec took Magnus' hands into his own shaking ones and took a deep breath before continuing.  
"Baby, I know what we said all those years ago about it being risky and all and I know we have been careful but sometimes contraception doesn't always work and I haven't had a cycle in the past 2 months and I’ve been getting a little sick in the afternoons and I got checked yesterday and I'm pregnant Magnus. If you don't want it, I'll get rid of it, I understand and we can just adopt another baby because Magnus, I really want another baby-"  
Alec's nervous, rambling, string of words was cut off by Magnus' mouth pressing lightly against his.  
"Sayang, I would never ask you to get rid of a baby we made especially if you wanted it. I know it's scary and risky but we can work it out.  
“I was actually talking to Cat a few days ago and was going to bring it up with you but we have been busy. She said that there have been improvements in the male birthing process. Better pregnancy support and labour and birth care. You can have a Caesarean as it’s the safest option for you. Alexander," Magnus raised his hand to cup Alec's cheek "I want another baby too."

Alec's eyes lit up and he smiled widely "Really Magnus, you mean that?"  
"Have I ever lied to you Sayang?"  
Alec leapt up in joy, startling little Isadore, as he wrapped his arms around his husband and the love of his life.   
"Thank you baby, I love you so, so much. More than anything." Alec exclaimed.  
"More, even, than our beautiful children?"  
"Ok maybe equally as somethings."  
Magnus laughed and stood to swing his love in a circle "I love you too Sayang. More than anything. Equally as somethings."

**Author's Note:**

> So I had a dream last night that Alec got stabbed and his siblings and Magnus took care of him and protected him from the return of his stabber. I thought I would write something angst-y to get over the dream because I didn’t finish it.
> 
> This takes pace in an AU where they are all fully human but males can also get pregnant. It’s not ABO because I don’t feel comfortable writing it but then again, I always said I would never write mpreg but here we are. Also this surprisingly doesn't have any smut.
> 
> Hope you liked it.


End file.
